VCF Robinson's Pioneer: Singles Talk. Marriage

Yesterday, March 20, 2013 (Thursday), I had a very busy day. Since I am an employee cum employer, I had to deal with both every single day and I am truly grateful that something’s keeping me busy these days. I need it, actually.

Towards the afternoon, my friend (our guidance counselor) mentioned something about VCF’s (Victory) talk that same day and she was undecided that time if she’ll be attending or not. So I asked:

“Ano ba yung topic nila?”

“Singles talk. Marriage” (Since she’ll be getting married soon!)

I said: “Tara punta tayo mukhang maganda”

It was my first time to attend, to be honest. I was curious and I find it interesting because of their topics that I kept on seeing in a mall near our place. I did not have a chance to try it before because I became too busy with things.

As I entered:  “Daming  tao”

                     “Puro yuppies”

                    “Karamihan mga babae halos” was my first reaction (well maybe because of the topic). I felt welcomed, kahit na wala naman akong kakilala except for my friend. I felt that this was a good decision, kahit na hindi ko naman alam ang mangyayari.

Anyway, the topic was about “Marriage”. In an hour, I LEARNED A LOT from our speakers who’ve been married for 6 years--- both pastors.  And I just want to share their thoughts on relationships and marriage in general:

·         “When you talk about marriage, it means, it’s a LIFETIME you are talking about”

-           That no matter how long you’ve waited for that person, you’ll be fine because in the end, regardless of the wait for the right person to come, you know that he/she is the one that is given to us by God.

·         “Being in love means: You don’t care about what is going to happen between the two of you, all you know is that you just want to BE WITH THAT PERSON for the rest of your life”

-          Pastor Patrick said: “Pag nag propose ba ang lalaki at sinabing WILL YOU MARRY ME, alam ba niya talaga ang salitang Marriage?”

-          “At pag um-oo ba ang babae sa sagot na iyon, alam ba ng babae kung ano ang marriage at kung bakit niya sinagot yun?”

-          Ang sagot: HINDI. Walang alam ang lalaki at babae that moment sa marriage kasi hindi pa naman nila ito napagdaanan, magsisimula pa lang sila, pero, maski hindi nila alam ang kahihinatnan nila once they get married, they’re still going to do it because they just want to be in each other’s lives forever.

·         “You will find the perfect person that God has for you---that God has prepared for you”

·       

  MARRIAGE 123: The basics and the secret to a happy relationship in marriage”

1.       “GOAL OF MARRIAGE IS TO BECOME ONE”

-     Marriage is a journey of two individual persons--- a man and a woman

-     Be UNITED- hindi yung nagsasarili ka sa decision mo because remember, you have a partner to share it with, always consider your partner's feelings, emotions, or even opinion/s. Let him/ her be a part of it.

-    There’s a part in your partner which you cannot change, let’s say a habit, but no matter how irritating, annoying, or disappointing that is, ACCEPT your partner

-          In marriage, the word “me” must no longer exist, instead, you’ll be using “US”. 

-          Example: Ang perang kinikita ko, akin lang. Bibili ako ng ganito, ganyan, pero pag kinasal na or two individuals are serious with each other, “Yung kita ko para sa pamilya ko”

-          Marriage is about GIVING UP YOU OWN LIFE FOR THE OTHER PERSON: Since you are considered as ONE, ang mga nagagawa mo dati magisa, you’ll be sharing all those with a partner--- not considering it as a sacrifice but rather out of willingness to do so. 

-          When you’re in the process of dating, courtship, boyfriend/girlfriend, it is the SEASON OF KNOWING” : Once you’re with someone, get to know the person, ano ang ugali niya, hilig niya, interest, para masabayan mo siya at matanong mo sa sarili mo kung yun ba ang gusto mo makasama habang buhay.

2.       “UNDERSTANDING TWO UNIQUE ROLES”

-          Being married is not something you’ve earned, but a decision to become a wife/ husband

-          WOMEN:

a.       Submit yourselves to your husband as how you submit yourself to God

b.      Women are created to be a “helpful partner”, that is, a suitable helper to your husband

c.       Ang mga babae, kaya nandyan to help her partner become a better person because she was created that way by God

d.      Pag nagliligawan, nagiging spoiled ang babae dahil sinusuyo siya ng lalaki. Pero pag kinasal na, hindi na dapat laging magstick sa kung anong nakasanayan, dahil ang lalaki ay ginawa para maging head ng pamilya, responsibilidad ng babae na isubmit ang kanyang sarili sa kung ano ang gusto ng lalaki at hindi paiiralin ang pride.

-          MEN:

a.       Love your partner/ wife as how Christ loved the Church: Kung hindi mahal ng lalaki si God, maaring hindi niya din kayang mahalin ang babae. Dahil kung naiintindihan nya ang pagmamahal ni God sa simbahan, i-aapply niya ito sa kanyang partner/ wife.

b.      Serve your wife, be faithful, committed, and protect her.

c.       Masarap daw magmahal ang Christians dahil alam nila ito. 

3.       “A CORD OF THREE STRANDS CANNOT BE BROKEN”

-          Those three cords must be consist of the man, woman and GOD.

-          God must ONLY BE THE THIRD PERSON and that relationships must be centered to God

-          Kung hindi naka sentro si God, relationships will fail.

It was a short but totally worth it. Towards the end we were asked to group into 8 and must answer: WHAT ARE THE SKILLS THAT YOU NEED TO IMPROVE TO BE a LEADER IN MARRIAGE (MEN) AND HELPFUL PARTNERS (WOMEN)?

I answered: “EMBRACE THE IMPERFECTIONS OF THE OTHER BECAUSE WE TOO HAVE THOSE. Dahil kaya tayo ginawa at pinagtagpo para suportahan at tulungan ang isat isa, ngayon, kung tatakasan nating mga babae ang bawat makita nating mali, we’ll just end up jumping into relationships and we'll never be contented”